The Worst Text I Got Was Intended to be Helpful But Did The Precise Opposite

Let me help you be a better friend.

Photo by Marcus Dall Col on Unsplash

The text read:

‘If you’re in crisis, I can meet you.’

My friend was trying to be helpful and considerate.

It didn’t land that way at all and I think he was surprised. Maybe you are too.

I want to share this so that we can get better at understanding each other and learn to be actually helpful to each other when we need it the most.

I often see posts from well-meaning friends (often after some mental health-related public tragedy) which says something to the effect of:

“My door is always open. I am here for you. Please reach out if you need to.”

And again. I understand that the intention is a sweet one. You post it and in that moment you mean it. You believe it is helpful.

But actually it’s very passive. And meaningless.

This offering makes 2 assumptions:

1. That someone in need or crisis will be able to reach out when they ‘should.’
2. That you will actually be in a position (whether physical, mental, emotional) to be there for them if/when they do reach out.