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The Worst Text I Got Was Intended to be Helpful But Did The Precise Opposite
Let me help you be a better friend.
The text read:
‘If you’re in crisis, I can meet you.’
My friend was trying to be helpful and considerate.
It didn’t land that way at all and I think he was surprised. Maybe you are too.
I want to share this so that we can get better at understanding each other and learn to be actually helpful to each other when we need it the most.
I often see posts from well-meaning friends (often after some mental health-related public tragedy) which says something to the effect of:
“My door is always open. I am here for you. Please reach out if you need to.”
And again. I understand that the intention is a sweet one. You post it and in that moment you mean it. You believe it is helpful.
But actually it’s very passive. And meaningless.
This offering makes 2 assumptions:
- That someone in need or crisis will be able to reach out when they ‘should.’
- That you will actually be in a position (whether physical, mental, emotional) to be there for them if/when they do reach out.
